We do have lots of friends. This is a good thing, right? We do have lots of Good Friends and we happy and we love and loved by them too. Sometimes this is not quite enough tho…
Good Friend is not the same as – Special Friend. And this is that one, which is most often missing from our life. The one with whom we can be as much ourselves, as we are with ourselves. The one, who knows our best and our worst. The one who accepts us just as we accept ourselves. Who would not be gentle when pointing to the mistakes we make and who would not be cruel when lying to please.
I wonder how many of us do have that Special Friend for real? And I wonder why, even having lots of very good friends, we still not set with satisfaction and we keep searching?
I am not talking about love here. Well, in a sense, it is – love, isn’t? Not to be in love, but – to trust one’s soul in someone. To share not just somethings, but to share yourself, whoever you happened to be. In a way – I am talking about – trust.
I’ve been thinking on lately: isn’t it strange that it is generally easier to build that kind of trust between men and women then between same genders? Could this be coz of mutual interest in each other is higher? Coz in effect we are – explorers of unknown and the unknown lies where we can’t reach. In order to understand what man thinks, you’ve got to be a man. And same – for female. Could we be so opinionated that we know everything about our own species and therefore we are not interested in us any more?
Is it really a question of trust when talking friendship between men and women or is it – mere inquisitiveness and concealed yearning for flirting? How much of our “frank confessions” would be without ulterior motive? Even if we are pretty certain ourselves: it isn’t so.
I wonder now, if there is such thing, as men&women friendship?
And getting back to the initial question: I wonder if we really need to have that Special Friend at all or is it better just to keep our deepest secrets safe within? In the end of a day who can be more Special to you, as not yourself?
[And who can love you more then you love yourself, really? Lol…;-)]
Welcome… or should I say, welcome back! Your first 3 entries are thought provoking… I’ll be back for more.
Thank you sooo much for your comment. You may never know how much it meant to me in my… not-finest hour. 🙂
I was reading what you had written above and it really does get you to thinking.
Anyway, thanks again!
Take Care,
Brittney
I’ve recently discovered that I have a Special Friend who is also my lover. I can be myself around her as much as I can around myself, and she can be herself around me as much as she is around herself. Yes, we are very much in love too, but I thought the very same questions you are here until very recently.
I am in love with this person, and I trust my soul to her like I have never trusted anyone else. I believe in her totally and even after only perhaps 6 months I count her as my most special friend. You may say it is too early to say that – but I say I have known friends, and I have never known a friend like this one. I am glad that I can stop looking now though.
Of course, it is a cross gender friendship and I too have struggled long and hard to work out why such things generally work better across the gender boundary. I can give no answer.
I just know that it’s the best feeling in the world to have your lover also be your best, most special friend.
Sorry to remain anonymous, there’s too many people here who would judge me and would not understand…