Keys

I suddenly remembered something about the keys. Under some eerie inspiration when X has left for good, on that day I went out and bought a lock and a key, a small one, purely to symbolise for my own imagination the door that was closed. I truly cannot remember where did I get this idea from, the source must be unimportant then. So I took the lock and the key and, well, I locked it. And threw the key into some bushes I was walking by at that moment. A strange illusion, as if I was a witch doing her voodoo stuff. Not spooky, just kind of dark-ish. A magic ritual to pacify the soul. Why did I do that. I'm sure I had my reasons at that moment. The fact I do not remember them speaks of they had little meaning. Perhaps, more important was the emotional state of that moment. Guess the subconscious needed a symbolic closure. I cannot say that it helped me to feel better immediately. In fact, I do not remember feeling better anywhere soon afterwards either. Yet what this little magic game has done was giving me a sense of liability for my own decision. When I threw the key away, I have decided that I will no longer consider myself abandoned by another. Since it was them who chose to walk out, I have played out my own part in this play and locked the door behind them gone. It was my choice to ensure I won’t be hurt by them ever again. I have never spoken to them since. No matter how bitter I felt and still am, when a thought of this little act of witchcraft comes to mind, it is a somewhat soothing balm to my soul.

Just thought, I'd write this little memory down to my history book, while I remember it still…